Babies are such a nice way to start people.

Sometimes, when I’m feeling all mopey and emotional, and I look at Devin and realise how much he’s grown already in his nearly five months, I get sad.

I get jealous when I see a pregnant woman. I have my baby, and he’s still very young, and I love him very much, but I also liked being pregnant. Looking pregnant and feeling baby inside and that scary, exciting anticipation. I miss that. Also, my labour was very sudden and fast. I had no time to transition. I was pregnant, then I wasn’t, and oh, here’s a baby.

I miss following his growth through pregnancy books. I miss imagining what he was doing in there.

I never got an ultrasound picture. Not one. I had one ultrasound at 6 weeks to confirm my dates, and another at the usual 20 weeks, and we saw him moving and yawning and stuff. But no picture to take home. At the time, I was ok with it. But as more time passes, I’m actually getting madder about it.

Who doesn’t give a pregnant woman a photo of her unborn baby? Everyone has one. People get to post theirs on their blogs. Show their family.

Not me.

Oh well. I’ve got the real thing now. Who needs an ultrasound photo when you’ve got these cheeks?

Liss

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