I am my mother’s only one. It’s enough.

Once again, I ask myself why I bother keeping this. I don’t have a whole lot to say.

Well, actually, let’s be honest. I do have a lot to say, but it’s almost entirely negative and/or has little to do with parenting.

Devin is wearing me out. His ideal amusing activities seem to be weighed too heavily in the “Messy, Destructive and Dangerous” column, rather than the “Parent Approved” column.
Playing with electrical cords and outlets? Well, no darling, that’s not a great idea.
Waving that fork around? You shouldn’t even have that. Where did you get that?
Smearing food into carpet, upholstery and clothing? Please, please, just eat it. (“In your mouth, not on the floor!”)
Eating rocks and dirt at the park? I don’t mind you experimenting, but really. You’ll eat dirt, but not real food?

And his response to being taken away from these things, or even (god forbid!) just to have his nappy changed is a huge, melodramatic, flailing-limb tantrum.

What I know about Devin is that he is happy and content – when he is doing exactly what he wants to do, and nothing else. He has to be kept thoroughly – thoroughly – engaged in something he is allowed to do, otherwise he will quickly become involved in something he isn’t.
He isn’t, and never has been, the kind of kid who will happily play on his own.

Other things I know about Devin –

– He can spot a children’s coin-operated carousel from the other end of a shopping centre.
– He will always move faster than I’m expecting, even when I adjust my expectations according to his previous speed.
– He really likes putting things in other things. A wooden hammer in Jene’s boot. Plush bunny in a bowl of Weet-Bix. Spare dummy in dirty clothes basket (I nearly went nuts trying to find that). His sock in the bathtub. An Amazon shipping box in the bathtub. A half-chewed rusk in the bathtub.
– His efforts to pick off the mole on my collarbone will only be deterred by high-collared shirts.
– His sense of danger is not very well-honed. He is still afraid of the blender, and sometimes the vacuum cleaner, but will happily charge off a concrete ledge.
– Nothing gets his attention faster than the crinkle of food packaging, the sound of kettle boiling, the beep of a microwave… or the voiceover on a Harvey Norman ad.
– If he or anyone drops anything (accidentally or on purpose), he will almost definitely react with an abrupt and repeated “oh”.
– If you offer him something and he pushes it away, it’s probably not a good idea to offer it again, because he’ll grab it and throw it to show you just how much he doesn’t want it.

See you in another couple of weeks, when I next have the inclination to write something.


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