Nine months later…

… We are home. When I was given the diagnosis, I was also told it would require five to six months of treatment in Sydney. Obviously now I know they can’t possibly account for things like ongoing low blood counts or a three week hospital stay for, essentially, a cold, but for a while it felt like we’d never get back. And actually, once we’d settled into the self-contained unit, it felt normal to be there. And comforting, in a sense.

Being home is weird. It feels both satisfyingly familiar, and like I’m living someone else’s life. And in a way, I am.
The house we walked into three days ago belonged to a carefree three-year-old and his somewhat angst-filled but generally ok parents who were dealing with grief, gout, financial stresses, and a new pregnancy. The house did not belong to an embattled four-year-old, his weary and heartbroken (though gradually repairing) parents, and his completely fresh and innocent baby sister.
It’s simultaneously like being warped back to June last year, with extra memories, and like I’ve missed a chunk of my life. I don’t feel connected to the stuff here. Or maybe I do, but it’s all a painful reminder of how much has changed in such a short time. Either way, my instinct is to get rid of it. I know that would be a silly thing to do right now, so soon after arriving home, but this is how I currently feel.
We knew it would be tough to be home, and we were gently reminded that things may not be easy – I’m aware of what I’m feeling and why I’m feeling it, but, much like the post-baby blues, knowing doesn’t make it hurt less.
It’s just a matter of being patient.

Anyway! On the lighter note of Dubbo wasting no time in displaying its Dubbosity since we’ve been back, I went to the sushi place that we once frequented, only to find their chicken katsu had been renamed ‘crumbed chicken’.
We’re back.

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2 thoughts on “Nine months later…

  1. Hi!

    I was trying to buy a baby car seat and in googling wee ride came across your blog. An hour later and many tears, I have used up all the valuable baby napping time being completely engrossed in your posts! How are Devin and Miriam? Looking forward to more news! Thanks, your writing is lovely

    Kylie

    1. Oh Kylie, that nap time is definitely precious, I’m sorry to have made it a teary one!
      Devin and Miriam are really well! Things are going relatively smoothly… I’ve had this blog in the back of my mind for so long, always thinking “I’ll update that soon”, but of course I inevitably make excuses and suddenly months have passed. Reminders have been popping up more frequently, though, and I think I really do need to write here again, for my own wellbeing!
      Oh, I also tend to use Instagram as a mini blog, you can check that out for updates in the meantime. 🙂 http://instagram.com/mielabelo
      Thanks so much for taking the time to read and comment!
      Liss

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