Scenes

My brain is so full and messy lately that I can’t even think of a proper title.

Earlier in the year I did some weeding and moved the green waste bin for the first time. My heart almost leapt out of my mouth when I saw what I thought was a snake, but was actually a lizard. It had been living cosily under the bin, and I think it still does. I don’t think this is the same lizard – this one seems a lot smaller – but there it was. There are also a lot of tiny lizards that dart around the front and back steps. Not to mention our indoor encounter with another, much, much bigger lizard at our old place.

Lizards!

 

There’s a little garden at the arboretum. Two Saturday’s in a row, during open houses at our place, we picked up McDonald’s, ate at the picnic benches, then walked around the garden. As you can see from Devin’s clothing, it was freezing one week and hot the next.

This picture is my desktop background on one of our computers.

 

I’m not sure what flowers these are, but the whole plant feels kind of rubbery. I really like it.

 

It’s been raining a lot, and I’ve mentioned before that our lawn grows extremely fast. Unfortunately, we’re not lucky enough to get a sea of daises like our neighbours – we just get thick, sharp grass with some weeds.

The circle in the middle is where the old tenants had a pool.

 

He is starting to keep his hat on when we’re outside. He even found it and tried to put it on of his own volition the other day…

 

An early morning ‘argh-just-stop-whinging-let’s-get-out-of-the-house” walk.

 

After a stormy day, the clouds broke in the evening and there was this awesome sunset that I just couldn’t properly capture with my camera. We affectionately call the family that lives in that house the Baby Neighbours, because when we moved in here we would see them gardening, and the woman was pregnant. They’ve since had the baby and I think they might be pregnant again…They’re also some of the few neighbours that aren’t irritating pricks.

Not long after this picture, they came out and started taking photos of the sky, too, and I felt awkward sitting at the window with my camera pointed in the general direction of their house…

 

… But I didn’t stop taking pictures.

 

And what is this plant? It looks and feels like it’s covered in fur. The leaves are like dog ears. It really creeps me out. Devin picked off one of the flower heads and carried at around for a while.

 

And now I will go to bed, because I am sure my brain muddle is not helped by how little sleep I get.

Number of times I clicked ‘Add Video’ instead of ‘Add an Image’ during compostition – three.

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More than you know what to do with.

I won’t post any more of these.

Not in the immediate future, anyway.

Hi, my name is: Melissa. I am now so used to being called and referring to myself as Liss that writing Melissa feels weird. And that’s Lisssssss, not Liz. I don’t mind Melissa or Liss, but I only allow one person to call me Mel.

My eyes are: tired. And blue.

My status is: de facto-ed.

I want to have (more) kids: when I can get my head around the one I already have.

I wish I was: more socially capable. And at a beach.

Currently I am: very socially anxious. And not at a beach.

I love: my son. Sometimes I cry when I’m holding him after he’s been rocked to sleep.

Never in my life have I been: on a domestic or international flight.

My favourite animal is: probably dogs.

My favourite color is: not just one colour.

My Pet Peeve: trolleys not returned to trolley bays.

Right now I am listening to: the sound of the heater. Ridiculous. It’s October.

If you’re gonna talk smack about me: um… I don’t want to hear about it? I don’t know. I’ve never been the type of person that people ‘talk smack’ about.

If I’m nervous: I shake and blush furiously.

My hair is: short for the first time in 16 years.

When I was 4: I started school.

My mum: is awesome.

Last Christmas: was Devin’s first. It was very rainy.

When I look down: I see boobs.

The happiest recent event was: eating hot chips outside today.

My current annoyance: the weather not being consistent.

Most recent thing I’ve bought myself: A skirt that I can’t wear because it’s cold again.

Most recent thing someone else bought me: The Fellowship of the Ring black cover edition, to finally complete my collection. From Jene.

If I was an animal I’d be: an animal. I don’t freaking know.

Yesterday I: don’t really remember what I did. Probably much the same as I did today, and will do tomorrow.

Last night I was: watching lacklustre television, browsing through blogs, and battling with a little boy who wouldn’t sleep because he missed his half hour afternoon nap.

Tomorrow I am: definitely returning those library books.

Tonight I am:
watching lacklustre television, feeling inexplicably hungry, and hoping that I won’t have to battle the Sleepless Wonder.

My favorite piece of jewellery is:
well, there are a few. My – what we might technically call – engagement ring; an old necklace that opens like a little folded note; and the locket Dad gave me after I had Devin, that now has photos of Jene and Devin inside. But I don’t wear jewellery often.

My favorite shoes: were only recently purchased, and were very expensive, but should last for the rest of my life.

The one that knows the most about me is
: possibly Jene at this point.

If my man/woman were to bring me flowers I would want them to be:
Wow, I’m not that picky. I’d just be grateful to receive flowers.

Part of me wants to: move to a different country. Somewhere Nordic.

But the other half wants to: stay in this country, because it’s comfortable. And easier.

Lissful thinking

I am: an introvert.

I think: both too much, and not hard enough.

I know: that I can be moody and sullen and difficult to live with at times.

I have: all that I need, but not all that I want

I wish: I owned my own home. Or at least had a mortgage to own my own home. Basically I want to be able to paint the walls whatever colour I want, and not worry every time something spills on the damn carpet.

I hate: renting. The sound of eating. People who don’t take trolleys back to the bays. Sweating. Neighbours. Tailgaters. Overtly biased, stupid and annoying journalistic reporting. Crowds. Let’s be honest, I hate many, many things. And unfortunately, I do mean hate. My scale tends to be love, like, disinterest and hate. It is something I need to work on.

I miss: being pregnant.

I fear: a lot of things. Mostly irrationally and/or excessively. And I’m talking about, making phone calls and going to the bank and submitting forms. Not spiders or heights or clowns.

I hear: quite well. Too well? I had to buy noise cancelling headphones when I couldn’t cope with the general sounds of a household and music at the same time. Right now I can hear a party far, far away, and it’s driving me nuts.

I smell: like day-old perfume.

I crave: sweet things. All the time. All. The. Time. I cannot exaggerate that fact.

I search: for motivation and a creative outlet.

I wonder: why so many people behave with such disregard for others.

I regret: not fulfilling my academic potential.

I love: Jene and Devin and the rest of my family. Rain.

I ache: for a life in which I never have to fill in forms and provide accompanying documents.

I am not: a leader. I’m not really a blind follower, either, though I’m happy to go along with something if it suits me.

I believe: that spirituality and faith have nothing to do with religion, which is a divisive and unnecessary institution. At best.

I dance: never. Never, ever, ever, ever. I can’t remember the last time I felt compelled to dance. No. The thought feels wrong. Yes, maybe that is exactly why I need to do it. And laugh. And whatever else. I have never been one to express myself physically.

I sing: hardly ever. It’s not just bad, it’s physically difficult for me to do.

I cry: a lot. I did before I got pregnant and had a baby, and I do it a lot more now.

I fight: very aggressively for a little while, but quickly feel drained and give up.

I lose: pretty much any game I play against Jene.

I win: nothing. Ever.

I never: thought I’d be partnered and have a kid by now. I’d just assumed I’d somehow ‘find’ a career before a family, because that’s what people do now. I like this path much better.

I always: stay up much later than I know I should. I’m doing it right now. I always hit a motivational peak at the exact time I should be going to sleep.

I confuse: people by frequently starting sentences in the middle of a thought.

I listen: much, much more than I talk.

I am scared: of birds.

I need: to spend a lot of time away from people in order to be able to cope with people.

I am happy about: the weather getting warmer (despite the recent cold front that is determined to bring back winter for one last hurrah). Having time alone. My two boys. The passionfruit yoghurt in the fridge. My hair. Devin’s funny little run. The fact that the two loud and territorial masked lapwings have finally moved from their home on our front lawn, even though I didn’t get to see their four new hatchlings before they left.

I can usually be found: in our house. Surprise!